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(NECN: Alysha Palumbo, Manchester, NH) - "She said that Whitey was greedy and controlling..." Sandra Patient reads notes from her cousin Terri, the daughter of one of Whitey Bulger's 19 alleged victim's, Arthur "Bucky" Barrett.
Terri still can't bring herself to talk publicly about what happened to her father, so Patient speaks for the family.
"He was the rock of the family," said Patient, "and when he died, that rock was taken away, everything crumbled."
Patient says Bulger allegedly targeted her uncle because he pulled off a $1.5 million bank heist and didn't give Bulger a cut.
"When he kidnapped him he called my aunt and said get out of the house, and gave him everything in the house and he still decided to kill my uncle," said Patient.
Back in 1983, Patient's uncle Bucky Barrett was allegedly killed and buried at 799 East Third Street in South Boston.
Two years later his body, along with two others, were allegedly dug up and reburied in Dorchester. The three bodies weren't found until 2000.
"I do not believe that that man has a soul," said Patient, "you cannot do that to that many people and be able to sleep at night."
Patient says in that time, two of Barrett's sons committed suicide. Patient herself left home at age 14 because she says she couldn't deal with her family.
"The things that went on," said Patient, "no child should have to bear witness to, especially at that age."
She says even before his disappearance she only spent time with her uncle a couple of times because of the danger surrounding his lifestyle.
Patient said, "I was never really given a reason, it was just that he was involved with some people that would hurt us."
Now with the notorious mob boss facing trial, Patient finally worked up the nerve to go to court last week and begin to prepare herself mentally for what's ahead.
She says her cousin Terri isn't quite there yet, especially after being thrown a curve ball by the defense.
"To have the type of issues that this woman has had to deal with," said Patient, "and then it turns out that the person that now is going to represent the person killed your father is a really good friend of the family's was just kind of mind-boggling."
That's right - Patient says Bulger's defense attorney J.W. Carney is Terri's long-time family friend. She says he called Terri to let her know he'd be taking on the case, and Terri respects that.
"She knows no matter who represents him that it's going to come out one way or another," Patient said.
And although Patient has a hard time believing Bulger will testify, she still looks forward to seeing him tried for her uncle's murder.
"I do believe that there is a lot that's going to come out and there's a lot that's going to be said and a lot of people are in fear of that," Patient said.
Bulger is scheduled to go to trial in June.