In·ert adj (i-ˈnərt)
- a state of being motionless
- the motion picture: The Deep Blue Sea
I would be well within my rights to simply end this film review with that (revised) dictionary entry, but, since I consider myself to be a consummate professional, I (begrudgingly) trudge on. It's rare that you come across a movie with quite the level of inertness that The Deep Blue Sea possesses - it's a brutally boring sit that will have you teetering on the edge of a film-induced coma.
The adaptation of the 1950's Terence Rattigan play feels as if it never left the stage - 99% of the thing takes place indoors - claustrophobes beware. The tale of a love triangle between desperate housewife Hester (Rachel Weisz) and the two men consisting of the remaining 120 degrees: her older husband, William (the soon-to-be-of-Skyfall-fame Simon Russell Beale), and her strapping young lover, Freddie (Tom Hiddleston of Midnight in Paris).
Hester's hubby is a judge, by trade, with a mother (Barbara Jefford) who isn't so fond of Hester - she's quite aware that Hester isn't the puritan she purports to be. While Hester longs for some form of stability, she wouldn't mind a bit more spark out of her relationships.
Enter Freddie, a grounded RAF pilot and possessor of Hester's heart - or more to the point, her passion. The guy offers Hester some sizzle in the sack but forgets little things like her birthday (the horrors!). On and on Hester's torment goes with a incessant bed of violins making maudlin music.
Have your exit route mapped out before the lights go down.
It was just weeks ago that Madonna brought her second directorial effort to the big screen with W.E. - a hodgepodge story involving the Duke and Dutchess of York fused with a modern day romance but it shares a somewhat similar feel to The Deep Blue Sea. But whereas Madge's effort contained more than a fair share of (shamefully) entertaining camp, this tale is dreadfully dull.
Director Terence Davies makes the film look quite lovely, now if only...the characters...were people...we actually...gave a flip about...zzz...