Caitlyn Jenner Appears on Sports Illustrated Cover, Revisits Olympic Gold 40 Years Later

"I had proved myself as a man and I still had this person living inside me that I had never really ever dealt with," Jenner says

Caitlyn Jenner is back on the cover of Sports Illustrated on the 40th anniversary of her striking Olympic gold.

"Caitlyn Jenner as you know her now. Bruce Jenner as you never knew him then," the issue says opposite a photo that shows Jenner in gold sequin jumpsuit and wearing her "XXI Olympiad Montreal 1976" medal.

In an accompanying interview and 20-minute film "Jenner: 40 Years After Gold," the athlete, reality star, and activist shares her mixed feelings about the Olympic decathlon achievement that made her a household name.

She keeps her gold medal in the "nail drawer" of the bathroom at her Malibu, California, home and says, "it's funny I never take this thing out."

The medal was a big hit for her kids at "show and tell," she allowed. But she said she never put it on display.

Jenner explained that the decathlon "was the perfect distraction" over her gender dysphoria.

"I had proved myself as a man and I still had this person living inside me that I had never really ever dealt with," Jenner said in the video.

She said that the morning after winning gold as Bruce Jenner she was "disgusted" when looking at herself in the mirror at her Montreal hotel room.

"I was big and thick and masculine," she said. "The rest of the world thought it was this Greek god kind of body. I hated it. But it’s what I was given, so I just tried to do the best I could with it.”

Jenner said she is still "very proud of that part of my life" but that sports is "not real life.

"What I’m dealing with now, this is about who you are as a human being" she said. "What did I do for the world in 1976, besides maybe getting a few people to exercise a little bit? I didn’t make a difference in the world.”

Click here to read the full article and watch the film.

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