Amanda Kloots shared a heartbreaking message on Instagram Sunday morning after hosting an intimate memorial with family and friends for her late husband, actor Nick Cordero.
Kloots posted a photo holding their 1-year-old son, Elvis, on her shoulders while she looks up at him, penning her poignant message in the caption.
"We had a small memorial yesterday with close family and friends," she wrote in the caption. "I said, ‘Nick would have wanted this to be a celebration. Let’s try to laugh, share great stories and sing for him and to his memory.’ He would have loved it. It was beautiful and perfect. His spirit was definitely there."
She continued: "We listened to the song, I’m Here, from The Color Purple. Nick and I saw this show on Broadway years ago and we left the theater in tears, speechless. As it was being played last night the lyrics in the second half of the song hit me hard."
"Truly, I am scared. Scared of my new normal, of the pain, the loss and being strong enough to get through it," she wrote. "But, I know Nick is up above (rooting) for me, believing in me and hoping for me. He wants me to LIVE this new life and he wants me to be the best version of myself for our son. I promised him in the hospital that I would try to do that. So, when I heard these lyrics yesterday I thought, ‘Ok. When I’m doubting if I can get through this, I’m playing this song. It will be my motto.'"
"This is a long journey ahead and a down road I never thought I’d be on," she concluded. "No one can tell me how to do it, I have to do it. I may do things right, I may do them wrong. There isn’t a perfect way. One day, one step at a time. I have faith that God is leading the way and that Nick is our angel."
The wife of the late Broadway star finished her message with lyrics from "I’m Here" from the musical "The Color Purple," urging everyone to listen to the version by Cynthia Erivo.
The 41-year-old Tony nominee, who'd been previously healthy, died from complications due to the coronavirus on July 5. He was initially hospitalized on March 30 for pneumonia and later tested positive for COVID-19.
In mid-April, Cordero had to have his leg amputated due to blood clotting. Barely two weeks later, it was revealed that his lungs were "severely damaged" to the point where they looked "almost like he’s been a smoker for 50 years," Kloots said on Instagram.
Kloots regularly updated fans on Instagram on her husband’s condition during his time in the hospital. She hosted daily singalongs and recounted her candid thoughts and emotions through his final days.
"I feel very loved, and I feel like Nick is really loved, and our little boy is very loved," she said in a recent Instagram Live. "So one day at a time, and I’m letting myself feel all the feels, and I’m letting myself cry when I need to and I’m letting myself just sit in silence if I need to."
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