It's an anniversary no mother wants to mark.
It was three years ago Wednesday that Ayla Reynolds, a 20-month-old toddler, vanished from her father's home in Waterville, Maine. She was never found.
"I absolutely hate the holidays, I just wish i didn't have to do them," said Trista Reynolds, Ayla's mother. "My youngest son hasn't even been able to meet his sister and that just breaks my heart."
On Dec. 17, 2011, Reynolds learned her beautiful, blue-eyed, blond toddler had vanished from Ayla's father Justin DiPietro's home. Massive search parties were dispatched from land, boat and plane, but they failed to turn up any signs of the child.
"I relive it every day. I don't ever forget about Ayla," Reynolds said.
Maine State Police say they have not forgotten her either. They still have two detectives working the case, which they refer to as the biggest criminal investigation in state history. Police say they've received 1,400 tips to date, including some within the last month.
However, it remains frustrating for detectives and Reynolds that the adults who were present in the Violette Avenue home that December night - DiPietro, his then-girlfriend Courtney Roberts, and his sister Elisha - have not been more forthcoming.
"We still feel that those three adults know more than they're telling us. Our doors are always open for the full story," said Steve McCausland, state police spokesperson.
While Reynolds has been frustrated that no arrests have been made, she says she knows state police are doing their best.
"I gotta have faith in them because if I don't, I'm not gonna have any faith at all," Reynolds said.
Ayla's mother remains convinced that one day she will know what happened to her first child.
"Sometimes I think knowing will make it all go away, but then it scares me to know what really happened that night," she said.
Until that day comes, she offers a message to her daughter through tears.
"Just want her to know Merry Christmas and me and her brothers love her very much," Reynolds said.